Have you binged or started watching Lena Dunham’s Too Much on Netflix yet? I wasn’t exactly waiting for that one to drop, nor would I consider myself a Lena Dunham fan (I haven’t even watched Girls!). But five episodes in, I found myself unexpectedly…well, moved.
What started as a girly background show turned into something that felt deeper, scratching beneath the surface, shifting from a fluffy rom-com to a quiet, witty take on relationships, intimacy, self-worth, and the little ways we make ourselves smaller to fit in.
Can we talk about the bathroom scenes though?
But before I dive in, let me get this out of the way: why are there always so many toilet-adjacent emotional moments in Western shows? Like…why bond over not washing your hands after peeing? Why a meet-cute in a public restroom? I know it’s meant to be raw and real, but the hygiene freak in me was squirming. Anyway.
If we can get past all the sink-side bonding, there’s something super genuine about the characters in Too Much—especially Jessica, the lead. Her messiness, her contradictions, her craving for connection. And then there’s Zev. Ugh, Zev.
The Zevs of the World
Jessica’s ex, Zev, is that guy who low-key critiques everything about you and disguises it as “just being honest.” He shames her for her music taste, her need for reassurance, her sense of style, her attachment style, her feelings. He acts like her personality is a problem to manage.
There’s this one scene that struck me, when Jess is moving in with Zev, he stands at the door and scoffs:
“I feel like a pink bouncer, I have to put a limit on how many pink things you can move into the apartment.”
I laughed at first, then I paused.
Coincidentally, I had just scrolled past a TikTok video about The Pink Theory. Basically, it says that when a woman starts liking pink again, whether in her clothes, her decor, her hobbies, it can signal healing, a reconnection with her femininity, a sense of safety. It’s not about the color itself. It’s about being able to fully express joy, softness, and childlike playfulness without fear of judgement.
And that made me think: how many of us have toned ourselves down to be more likeable in relationships or friendships? How many people are out there telling us, directly or subtly, that our joy, our sparkle, our pinkness is too much?
How many of us have dated or befriended Zevs?
Stop Dimming Your Sparkle
It’s such an awful thing to feel like you need to hide the things you like just to be seen as cool enough, chill enough, desirable enough. Whether that’s cheesy pop music, glitter nail polish, or emotional honesty. To feel like you need to be less mainstream.
“Ugh, you’re just like every other girl,” they say, as if that’s supposed to be an insult.
To feel like you need to dress differently, laugh quieter, ask for less, be less ... .to fit in into a minimalist, masculine aesthetic.
I hated Zev for that.
Not just for how he treated Jessica, but for how familiar it felt. It made me wonder: how many Zevs are out there even among our friends and colleagues, at work or at school, quietly dimming the light of others to make themselves feel brighter? How many Zevs are out there trying to make us feel ‘less than’ to make up for their own insecurities?
But here’s what I’m learning… There’s a kind of healing in saying, “No, actually—I am this much. And that’s okay.”
So here’s your permission slip: like what you like. Blast your commercial pop music. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Decorate your space with flamingo lamps if that’s your thing.
Be “too much” for the Zevs of the world.
Make the Zevs level up, ladies!
Never lose your '“muchness.”
Long live pink. Long live sparkle.